So I’m 90 minutes behind schedule.. . but the important part is I made it!
Out of my bed and to the computer. Woohoo! Even though one of my eyes is trying to stay closed, it is time to awaken. My downfall is two-fold. One, I got home at 11pm and had to eat dinner, albeit a very late dinner. It was a can of peas and a tangerine and it was every bit of awesome! (Clearly, I was too hungry to care). Two, I had a retreatment of one of my root canals so I woke up in pain this morning. This made it even easier to continue to lay in the bed with my face on a cold gel pack. (Yes, I keep these at my bedside. My bedroom windows are so cold, it makes the gel cold.)
So, yesterday, God revealed to me my wrongdoing, in putting top priority on everything but Him. As the day went on, I continued to marinate on this, and I realized that this wasn’t just my thoughts. It has also been evident in how I have prioritized my time, my energy, and even my money. Let the church say “Ouch!”. Putting God first has been super hard and I have to admit one of the things that has set me up for failure in this regard has been my own selfish desire. Too often, I have said to myself, You never do anything just for you. You’re always working for everyone else. When are you going to have fun just for yourself? Remember that church, work, sorority combo from one of my previous posts? Matter of fact, in that post, I thought I had successfully re prioritized myself because my thoughts and my actions lined up to put God first. But I didn’t realize that I had to take it deeper. Another thing that has set me up for failure is my tendency to agree to do stuff, but not really have the extra time to do it. I am a committed and loyal person, so if I say I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it and finish the task. Even if I no longer want to do it. I like to feel needed. Another thing that gets my caught up is my gifts – I believe I have the gift of teaching. It’s a gift I have run away from for a very long time, but one of my greatest joys is to share information with someone who might not otherwise get it or understand it. Now does this mean I want to be a teacher? Umm, I hope not. LOL. But I love to use my gifts within the realms of the areas of my life (church, work, sorority)….
So, what does the Word say? Hmmm, not sure yet. I’m honestly too sleepy to read anything without falling back asleep again. To be continued!