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Thursday, June 17, 2010

16 years and...I'm done!

Picture it - Middle School, 1994- and I've got a serious crush on somebody. That crush turns into another crush and then into another crush. And before u know it, im crushin' on Errybody! Hmmph!
My journals were full of the standard woe-is-me, nobody likes me, when will I have a boyfriend etc etc. BORING! Right?
Fast-forward to high school, and the journals are similar, 'cept now I've found Jesus so I'm praying in between the whines...

Back then, all I could solace myself with was dreams about the future. My future boyfriends, which would lead to my future husband, and my future kids, cause that's what I was destined to do!

Who would've thought that 16 years later, I'd still be right there in the woe-is-mes. Waiting for God's promises to be fulfilled....

And I'm not normally the type to count the years that have gone by, but an interesting turn of events led me to pull out my old journals and letters this week and wow! I mean, really?? The wasted heartbreak and the tears I cried over boys who didn't return my interest. Or if they did, as friends only. One in particular, I put on the backburner (on simmer tho), and when he re-appeared recently, my inner teenager started dancin and I was ret-to-go (y'heard me?)! But of course, reality stepped back in (He's just not that into me...) and as I read those old journals, I counted the years that this attraction had been "simmering". I had to mentally slap myself! Really, girl, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? He didn't like you then. And he dern sure don't love you now! PLEASE MOVE ON!

So... This is usually the part of my whine where I remember how much God loves me and remind myself that he loves me SO much and that everything is working for my good and He'll never put more on me than I can bear and I KNOW all this but tonight, I'm not really feeling it...
I'll be alright tho...

Keep praying for me. I'll be praying for you!

<3 Be Inspired <3