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Friday, October 28, 2016

Making the most of it...

Time keeps on ticking...
And I have been making poor use of it. I'm weeks behind on my schoolwork, my house is a wreck, my job tasks keep piling up, and I have the nerve to have unwatched and unread tv, movies, and books. So where has all my time been going? And why can't I get anything done? And where is my motivation to do anything? There's no way I'm answering all of that here tonight, but suffice it to say that I'm making my way out of this time-funk I've been in.

I realize that I have allowed my desire for perfection to play right into my tendency to procrastinate, cycling from omg to oh-forget-it over and over again (yeah you know you like that alliteration). Anyways, while this has all been going on, I have started dating again (enhanced by Tinder) and perhaps in another cyclical method, as I've gotten to know one guy, I have been so unwilling to catch a hint of a feeling for said gentleman, that I keep swiping, to meet even more guys to not catch feelings for... To be honest, this whole spectacle of dating is a sham where most guys are pretending they're interested in me but the moment they find out that there's no sex in the champagne room, they disappear. And that's all really just a huge smokescreen hiding what I'm really concerned about... Smh... The continued feelings for the prototype (thanks Ya) and wondering if those feelings will ever be returned or am I wasting my time, God?  If it's not him, then is it somebody else? How much longer? Like, forreal though?

I'm getting sleepy now, after finally doing a little cleaning and blogging, after 1am, after having finished this week's homework (hootie hoo!). I'm going to do my best to fill tasks in where I have free time, like tonight. And also stop letting an ordinary sleep schedule define my ability to get things done.

Feeling a little accomplished,