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Monday, December 30, 2013

Clarity and Courage; Manifest in 2014 - 12/30/13

When I look at myself in the mirror, I don’t generally say, hey scaredy-cat. That’s an odd way to start off today, but it strikes me that I don’t think of myself as one who lives in fear, but as one who is more like fearless. I’ll say anything and do just about anything. The truth of the matter, though, is that I’m far from fearless. Matter of fact, I started off as a coward in my childhood.

From my earliest memories, I have been shades of afraid of the sensation of going down. That moment when you’re on a roller coaster and your stomach drops, that is what I have never liked. I was the baby who starts crying when an adult throws them up in the air. I was the toddler who got left at the top of the escalator while my mom went down, thinking I was right behind her. I was the kid who wanted to swing on the swings by myself, but if someone gave me an underdog, I was through. I was the tween who didn’t want to ride any of the rides that went up in the air like the Paratrooper at Kennywood, because they looked too scary. But eventually, as I encountered each fear, I conquered it and slayed the dragon (as my Aunt Kathy used to say). I went from fearing escalators to loving them, from barely swinging to jumping off of swings mid-air in middle school,  from not riding any big rides to eventually conquering the entire park (except for the Phantom… I never did ride it, I probably never will.)
Now when it’s time to conquer a fear, my heart may pound, my brow may sweat, but for the most part, I get through it. Who would have thought that little terrified 3-year old would one day ride in an airplane?
Anyway, while I’ve conquered that fear, I still have a few to go.

I’m still partially afraid of the sound of someone vomiting and/or vomiting myself.
I’m still afraid of any kind of rodent loose in my house.
I’m still afraid of singing a solo or duet or trio (more than 4, I’m cool)
I’m afraid that I’ll never be married.
I’m afraid of dying by myself
I’m afraid of rejection
I’m afraid of being 100% transparent.
Most of all, I’m afraid of the unknown. And that is exactly the best description for “wherever” God is taking me and whatever He wants me to do when I get “there”.

Yesterday, I prayed for clarity so that I could see and understand what God needs me to see and understand, so that I’ll know without a shadow of a doubt what His will is…  but I also prayed for the courage to follow through with what I’ve been told to do.

So while 2013 comes to an end, this is what I’m taking with me into 2014: peace, financial stability, clarity, and courage.  

Y’all know I don’t have a lot of focus when I post at night. I just kinda have to put it out there. Here’s some scriptures related to fear and courage…

 Deuteronomy 31:6
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you…”

Psalm 27:1
“The Lord if my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?”

Psalm 91:9-13
“If you make the Most High your dwelling – even the Lord, who is my refuge – then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.  You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent…”

1 John 4:16b-18
“God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

Today’s video is “Manifest” by T.D. Jakes et al.

 This song jumped in my head yesterday during church because of an adlib in it that comes from yesterday’s scripture. (Methinks that will be our theme for 2014) and I think it’s appropriate for today’s post. We mimed to this song some years ago. Typing the lyrics by hand so the message sticks with me...

Verse 1:
Pregnant possibilities
Now birthed anew
Travailing to obtain it
For it must come to pass

I’ve decreed it, declared it, and called it in the Spirit
To become what God’s designed me to be

Repeat Verse 1

Repeat Vamp

Verse 2:
Your future, your promises
Shall be fulfilled
Yes, you shall obtain it
For it must come to pass

Repeat Vamp

Repeat Verse 2

Vamp Part 1:
I’ve decreed it, declared it, and called it in the Spirit
I’ve decreed it, declared it, and called it in the Spirit
I’ve decreed it, declared it, and called it in the Spirit

Manifest! Manifest! Manifest! Manifest!
(Repeat 3x)

Vamp Part 2:
Become what God’s designed you to be
Become what God’s designed you to be
Become what God’s designed you to be

Soloist’s Ad libs throughout repetition of Verse 2 into Chorus:
Your future ha, your promises
The devil can’t stop it
They shall be, every one of them
It says in the word that every promise in the Word is mine, yes
You will obtain it
For it must…
I’ve decreed it! Declared it! And called it, called it, called it, heyyy
I’ve decreed it! Declared it! And I called it, I called it, I called it in the spirit
The word of God says “Eyes have not seen. Ears have not heard. Neither has it entered into the hearts of men
Lord speak, Lord speak, it shall be
My destiny, my destiny
My fulfillment
Life and death is in the power of the tongue.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Can I get a witness?
IF you can believe in God for something,
Tell the devil
I’m going to push right now
Come on and push
Come on and push
Come on and push
You’re pregnant with possibilities
C’mon and push
Gimme my husband back
You need to tell the devil I’m coming after my child, Yes I am , yes I am
To become what God’s designed you to be!
Somebody oughta move

Somebody oughta push
Somebody oughta push
Come on and push


If I don't post again tomorrow, see you in 2014!


1 comment:

  1. And this is why you are my sister from another mister, i.e. your list of fears. Girl....LOL. I think the vomit thing is like at the top of my list too.