*Yawn* *Stretch* Help me, Lord!
My car (Silverfox) has been a source of joy in my life over the past 18 months. But she has also been a burden. All this year, I have struggled to pay the car note. I was torn on making a decision about what I wanted to do. Having to serve a 3-month vehicle suspension definitely firmed my decision. There’s no way I was going to pay almost $750 a month for 3 months while I couldn’t even drive the car and had to pay for other means of transportation. Nope, naw, uh uh. So, yesterday, while singing “Saying Goodbye” from the Muppets Take Manhattan, I cleaned her out and locked her up and they are scheduled to pick her up today. And while I am a little bit sad about it, I am mostly relieved. I pray she gets a good price at auction so I don’t owe the car company that much. But even if I do, well, at least I won’t be paying $600 a month anymore! And that, my friends, is the praise report!
Ooh, but the prayer request though? If you have been paying attention to my statuses, I have been struggling with taking the bus to work and everywhere else I go. This was unexpected because I take the bus/trolley more than most as it saves me money on parking downtown, so I thought it would be fine. Ha! Transit is easy when you can drive your car to the bus stop. Having to walk to the bus stop though? As Ja Rule used to say, “It’s Murder!” (LOL). Seriously though, Google Maps tells me that it takes .1 miles to walk to Wal-Mart. And that said .1 mile only takes 4 minutes to walk. *sounds of scoffing* What Google doesn’t know (but soon will because I have reported a problem with the route) is that the numbering convention on my lane does not match up with the buildings and I live in a freakin’ valley of valleys so the entire trip is uphill and steep ones at that. After I leave my building, I walk the steepness of my driveway (aka my lane) then I have to walk up the steep street up to the main drag. Once I get to the top, it is actually flat. I feel like that’s the 4 minute walk they’re talking about. 2 days of doing this and my body was like, um… what is this? My calves feel like they’re going to pop open, my hamstrings are also tight, and my lower back is just downright achy.
So on Sunday night, I “researched” the back of the buildings. I thought I remembered kids coming down from the pool through the woods by my house so I figured I would try that out. Monday morning, I hiked through the woods and it cut 10 minutes off of my walk. Was it easy? Hecks no. Am I going to do it again? Probably not! It was a little reckless to be hiking up the side of the mountain with a big stick on snow and ice. But who knows, maybe when my legs stop hurting, I’ll try it again.
*insert picture of shortcut hill*
So, doing this level of exercise in the snow and ice has been quite interesting.But I’ve found that for the most part, I’m good with the walking and the riding. I make sure my phone is super-charged because even when I’m feeling some kind of way, as soon as I start walking or riding, I have my gospel music playing and that keeps me focused and grounded.
My only issue is the bus I have to take during non-peak times. The 59 Mon Valley has to be the kookiest, most nonsensical bus route I have ever been on! Buses used to operate with logic. Buses used to take a route in one direction, then coming back use the same route, just the opposite side of the street….
Honey, those days are gone. They must have cut 5 or 6 routes and combined them into this monstrosity. This bus twists and turns through every hill and dale, crosses back over itself, and then has the nerve to have stops that are on different streets.
Throughout this year, I have been working on building my relationship with God and have asked Him to help me clean up those things within me that are keeping me apart from Him. This entire situation has made one issue come to the forefront, Pride or maybe it’s better said as a Lack of Humility.
I love to help others, but hate to ask for help.
I love to pick people up and take people home (i.e. the jitney ministry), but I don’t want to burden anyone with taking me anywhere.
I hate crying in front of other people.
I don’t like sharing my true needs in the prayer circle and I often rely on humor to get it across.
Doesn’t make any sense, right? Yup, I know. On Monday night, I kept it real in the prayer circle, but I must have said something funny, because one lady who knows me was chuckling. Meanwhile, I’m thinking, here I am laying it on the line and she is laughing. She even laughed while Rev was praying… I think she felt bad when she saw my tears afterward though. Humor is one of my coping skills, I guess.
And I’ve just never been a woe is me type of person. I can’t stay down in the doldrums, I have to keep pushing and keep a smile on my face. That’s the only way to get through it…. I got totally side tracked. Anyway, I had two offers of a ride home and I declined them both. 75% of the people who attend my church live right on the Northside and I wasn’t comfortable taking them 15 miles away to my house at 9:30 at night. My soror offered me a ride but she lives even farther away and I turned her down. Then I got “scolded” by someone else for not taking either offer. I did get a ride downtown though. I may be stubborn, but I ain’t foolish. It was almost like, I needed to do it. I needed to know what it was like to take the bus home from downtown late at night. It was borderline horrible in that my connecting buses were like 22 minutes apart and it was freezing, but what really took the cake was that I almost missed the bus because of the different stops, as I discussed earlier. Then, as I’m on the final leg, and walking home from Wal-Mart, a complete stranger stops and asks if I needed a ride home. I blessed her and declined and kept walking. As I walked, I realized that was the 3rd offer and it kinda made me pay attention because of the biblical/spiritual significance of the number 3. I resolved then that I have gotta stop being so prideful and be more humble!
Here are some scriptures because time is ticking and even though the bus runs every 10 minutes, I really like catching the 7:32 which is always late LOL.
“...’This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.’”
“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
1 Peter 5:5b-7
“…All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”