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Monday, March 5, 2012

selfish desire...

Alright, let me get this out of the way so I can move past it.
I've had an attitude since last night and woke up with it this morning.
Most times, I carry my virginal status around like a banner, holding it up for all to see "Glory be to God" etc etc, but I didn't used to always be like that... I used to hide it until the last minute

"Um sir, um did I mention I'm waiting for marriage??? Well yes, I know we're both naked... sorry about that"

Right.. so after waking up to too many letters of regret and rejection, from scribbled notes telling me I was too pure to disappearing off the face of the earth, I got tired of having my heart broken weeks into the relationship. So I started telling men up front...

"Hi its nice to meet you too. You're not getting any."
*brotha backpedals so fast I can see clouds of dust in the air*

So now I'm somewhere in the middle... I mean, its plastered on my facebook and twitter profiles and if you read my blog you would know, but I don't bring it up until they do. So when sex comes up in the conversation, I keep it real and honest.

So I'm sure my readers are wondering, so what's the problem? I mean, you've made a choice and you stuck by it. Why the attitude?

I'll tell you why... BECAUSE IT SUCKS!!!
My love life is nonexistent and my social life is... well that's ok but only bc I make it so.

With a banner like this, I should just be focused on my love for Jesus but I'm human so I struggle with it. Everyday I bitterly question God, why me??? And He patiently answers Why Not You? I ask, when am I going to find the love of my life??? And He patiently replies When Are You Going to Love Me and Others More Than You Love Yourself?

*ouch*
Gotta love when the Holy Spirit convicts you in the middle of blogging about yourself!

Y'know Lenten season is supposed to be about sacrifice, and when Lent is over, we should be changed. Just as Christ was crucified so that we could live, we should be crucifying something of our own.

Personally, I'm nailing my selfish desire to the cross.

What about you?

Update:
Let me get some verses on here for personal reflection:

Romans 6:6 NLT
We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin.

Galatians 2:20 NLT
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Galatians 5:24 NLT
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.

Galatians 6:14 NLT
As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also died.

Wow, God just slapped me upside the head with His Word...

Now that's love!

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