Oy, I don’t even have words. It wasn't a bad date, and I’m grateful for the experiences that God allows me to have. I’m also grateful for my growth. 4 years ago, and I could have gotten caught up in the foolishness. But instead, at the end of the date, my faith was assured that God’s got me and He knows the plans He has for me. I’m not sad, angry, depressed or disappointed. Because it just confirms that when I do meet my husband, it will be clear to me and our reward will be ever so much sweeter!
Now, let me keep it real, I haven’t always been this content with life. Matter of fact, just look at my blog posts from 1-22 years ago and you will see the angst. If I had a journal 4-5 years ago, you would have seen me being disappointed time and time again at the men who I have gone on dates with. Because I would build myself up, wishing he might be the one, but not even knowing what the one was supposed to look like, feel like, act like, etc… So ultimately, I would end up feeling sad, angry, depressed, disappointed, or any combination of those.
Tonight was a lot like those nights in that the man I went out with was so similar to other guys. It was seriously a repeat of my life. Except now, I’m wiser, I’m secure in who I am and who I’m called to be, so tonight I could just laugh at the ridiculosity that was coming out of his mouth as he tried to convince me I was the one for him. I literally cracked up because he was super entertaining. He had it all worked out as how my virgin status clearly meant that God ordained for us to be together and how I just need to get out of God’s way and accept that fact…. O_o Then he tried to convince me why I should be willing to have premarital sex with him… Dude, seriously? I’m going to break my promise to God now, after all these years, and sleep with you so that we can be sure that this so-called “God-sent” relationship will work out???
So you know what I did? I challenged him to come to church on Sunday and then afterward, see if he still feels this way. He agreed, but he said that I couldn’t tell my pastor about him because you know, then “he’ll be trying to talk to me.” I shook my head and said, don’t worry I won’t mention you to HER at all. IF he shows up (and I doubt he will), the Holy Spirit will take care of it.
Smh, it's time for bed, but here are some moments that I found hilarious as a child of God in a silly situation. Just little hints that God was right there with me, probably chuckling b/c this dude was hilarious!
- The Bible on his coffee table that he said I clearly don’t read or else I would know when God was trying to bless me
- When he tried to tell me the story, you know the one, about the man who was drowning and God sent a boat and a helicopter and he declined because he was waiting for God. Me, being th3e jerk I am, said “So, you’re my helicopter?” and he said “Yes, baby girl, I am your helicopter!”
- When he started singing “Maybe God Is Trying to Tell You Something” from Color Purple in the most awesome tone-deaf voice I have heard in a long time
- The faith-based decorations on his wall that he made sure to point out to me as signs that he is a good man
- When it was time for me to go and his phone started randomly playing gospel on Pandora – Stand by Donnie McClurkin and For Every Mountain by Kurt Carr. (Two of my personal faves) And he was like, whoa, I don’t even know how that happened. Accidental or not, funny either way!
Okay, enough with the jokey-jokes. Time to pray.
Dear Lord, my father and my best friend. I love you. Thank you for keeping your arms around me, to shield me and protect me. Thank you for letting me have these dating experiences and for equipping me with the knowledge of how to deal with them. Lord, while I think about how good you’ve been to me, I’m going to pray for the man I went out with tonight. Because while it was nice to go out on a date, that wasn’t tonight’s purpose. He needs you. Right now, he thinks he wants me, but I can’t do a thing for him. Only you can. You’re the one who can cure his loneliness. You’re the one who can give him joy. Help him to see that Lord. Use me as you see fit. Amen
Morning approaches. Let me catch a couple of winks! Good night all and happy Friday!!!