The singleness is starting to haunt me. It's in the back of my mind all day. At night, I'm teased by dreams. Dreams where I'm dating, in a relationship, married..... I must be getting more transparent or just tired of the farce. All week, people have been pondering my singleness. They say the usual "you'll find somebody" "it'll happen soon" but my body and verbal language says WHATEVER! Because no one's setting me up and at this point, I'm not sure they should bother. If God wants me to have a man, i'll have one. And if He doesn't.... well isn't that my main issue? That's the reality I'm facing and it hurts. I don't want to be single but if that's God's will, who am I to question it??? So, right now, I have to focus on what I want/need my kingdom blessing to be.... to be a "Fulfilled Single" and pray that I get there from here. A state where I focus more on God and what He desires of me and where I pay more attention to others rather than being so self-centered.
Sorry that I only blog when I'm emotional. I used to journal about everything, then I used to journal about the good times. Now I just blog when I need to air out the thoughts that don't have anywhere else to go. Because while friends can empathize with me, its my burden.
Alright, that's enough of the pity party!
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