Fat-Minded...

So, I just made a discovery of myself. I'm fat. Ok, that's clearly not the discovery. But even more so, even if I was a size 4, I would still be fat. And by fat, I don't mean body-dysmorphic, look at my thighs, etc sort of fat. I mean that I THINK fat. Therefore I'm fat-minded. Tonight, when I hadn't even eaten dinner, I'm thinking about breakfast. (Mmm, coffee...)

Lately, while in the midst of financial crises, I've been miserable. So, naturally I thought I was upset because I didn't have money. I thought that money had this strange hold on me, with the power to alter my mood (which it still does a little) but in all actuality, what upsets me more about being broke is being deprived of good food. What's good food you ask? ANYTHING that is prepared FOR me, rather than BY me! With the exception of food at my house (I don't trust my refrigerator, but that's another story...)....... Ahem.

Anyway, so, if I'm broke and somebody gives me money, I'm SUPER happy. But if they give me food instead, heck I'm still happy!

A couple of months ago, I realized that my spending habits were scarily aligned with my eating habits. So I devised this lifestyle change - Eat Within My Means! Where I would buy lunchmeat and all the sandwich fixins and eat a sandwich and chips everyday, rather than the high-calorie fast food I normally eat. So at least for lunchtime, this would save me money and ultimately my cholesterol and hey I might even lose weight and I'm loving it right?! Untillll the lunchmeat runs out and my wallet is empty and I'm stuck again... Then the whole stupid cycle starts all over again.

Smh, I have NO willpower at all. Lord, please don't let me get any health condition that requires me to eat a low calorie, low sugar, low fat, low carb, low fun diet! 'Cause I'm pretty sure, if it comes down to cookies or my health, I won't be able to keep from choosing COOKIES! I mean, I guess y'all could lock my food up like I had prader-willy but...
Ok, sorry for the tangent. I wonder if I would love food so much if my finances were better/stable? I mean, clearly, th more money you have, the more choices you have, so maybe that will fix my issue. Hmm....

-BlueLady

P.s. I allegedly have a date this friday. ALLEGEDLY! And guess what I care more about? Somebody wants to buy me food. Hooray! I know...I'm a lost cause... Y'all still love me tho right??

;-)
<3 Be Inspired <3