I haven't blogged in forever, but tonight I just have to. I was asleep but woke up with disconsolate feelings. Misery at 2am sucks!
Whenever I get through a crisis, I want to just put it behind me and move on, but it strikes me that someone may benefit from my experience. Maybe hearing my thoughts will save them some anguish.
I've been feeling kinda low lately. Most of the time, it's easy to bounce back but biology has me bound up...
I'm forced to deal with me and call these feelings out for what they are!
I'm missing something, actually it's probably several things...
I miss my mom. I miss living in the house with someone. I miss living in a house period. I miss having someone to share the bills with. I miss my bunny. I miss my Nissan altima. I miss last winter's black boots.
I miss him. I miss return calls and "pub therapy". I miss the farcity of our "friendship". I miss watching the local news and the Today Show. I miss Wendy's breakfast menu. I miss the days of eating what I wanted without consequences.
I miss high school days and my high school faith. I miss college years and the trials I made it through. I miss that summer when we discovered bike night...
I'm sure there's more but Yikes, that's enough stuff. A crater of wants and needs that is empty. It's my void.
So, as I started praying for God to fill my void, I started thinking about everyone with voids so now I'm going to pray for us all.
Almighty God, there is none like You. How dare we forget how far You've brought us? We have taken our focus from You and placed it on ourselves, and found ourselves severely lacking. Forgive us for our self-centeredness. We perceive that we are missing so much, but all we really need is more of You...
For every person we are missing and interaction we crave, Lord, please fill the void.
For every resource we need and material thing we desire, Lord, please fill the void.
God, help us to stop feeling our voids then filling them with people, places, and things that can't possibly do the job. You, Lord, are the only One who can not only fill the void, but eradicate the crater altogether.
God, fill us up with You until we overflow. Fill us with Your love, joy, and peace until we become contagious and spread it to everyone.
We need You like never before. Help us to stop looking for void-fillers and instead seek only after You.
In the name of Jesus we pray,
Burden lifted! Here comes the sleepy train. ZZZZzzzzz.