Calling on you, Jesus...

I might not be able to sleep tonight.... There's so much going on.
Just watched Jay-Z's video in shock and disbelief, in how far he's gone (in terms of this whole demonic imaging thing). That video, made me want to hide in my prayer closet and STAY THERE... Anyway, that's not what I'm really on here tonight...

I suppose what's really got me upset is having issues in my family that I can't do anything about. It feels terrible to want to help someone, but be powerless. So as I sit here, praying for the phone to ring to let me know everything is okay, I figured I'd blog.

You know, in my job, we joke about mental health issues, all the time. It's sad to say, but we do, particularly in downtown McKeesport, where my office building is. Due to the fact that all of the social services (mental health/mental retardation, Welfare, WIC, Social Security, career counseling, GED program, aging, and child welfare) are within a 1/4 mile radius of each other, I see some of the most disturbed and disturbing people outside of my office building. Most of the time, if we're not scared to death, we laugh at all of the craziness and just blame it on the area.... but truth be told, people are accessing the services they're in need of, which is actually a good thing. But yet, in our minds, we degrade these people, believing that they're less than....

Tonight, though, mental health issues are far from funny. There are some people who've been sick for years, with depression or schizophrenia, who are constantly in a cycle of illness and recovery that they never seem to get out of. And for those who self-medicate with drugs and alcohol, the cycle is even worse. But then there are those people who lead normal, everyday lives, whom you would never know anything was wrong until.... it strikes. Something that causes the chemicals in their brain to unbalance. Seems to me that its due to an overflow of not-so-positive emotions. That something happens that upsets the person, and neurotransmitters start acting up, and oh boy, you've got an episode on your hands. And all of a sudden, without warning, the world for them flips sideways and everything is different. You're not eating the same. You're not sleeping the same. Nothing looks the same, nothing smells the same, people aren't acting the same. You know something is wrong, but you can't figure out what happened? So, your guard goes up. You become mistrustful of everything. Things that you could normally brush past and ignore, you can't now because they might be able to tell you how to fix this. But instead, all the extra worry just pulls you in........

Such a vicious cycle! I can't even imagine having this happen to me, without warning.... Jesus!

Well, all I can do is listen and pray and pray and listen until its over. Before long, the normal and ordinary will return and we'll forget the episode even occurred.

Placing ALL my trust in Jesus, the lover of my soul

-BlueLady